Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Tipping points

In Malcolm Gladwell's "Tipping Point", there is a concept of "tipping point" - a point where critical mass or momentum propels tremendous change into reality. Sometimes called "strategic inflection", "chasm", or "singularity" from other business and science literature. I wonder, if there are tipping points in our personal life too. Every so often, my life comes to a tipping point, where I can feel it accelerate into change. Perhaps I am at that point again now, except this time, instead of coming to a fork where I can somewhat see where the various paths lead, I've come to a cliff beyond which is the vast unknown. I can feel myself accelerating faster and faster toward this point of no return. It came earlier than I expected, and I'm not sure if I feel ready for it. But then again, are we ever ready for these things? All I know is, six months from now, my life will be very, very different than what it is today. This is quite new to me. For much of my life, I have taken comfort in mapping out what I want my future to be and following it. Whether it was where I wanted to go to school, the people I wanted to meet, the places I wanted to go or the career I wanted to have. Through my efforts (small factor) and good fortune (large factor), for the most part, things have not strayed that far off my expectations. I suppose last year was the first time when I have really felt Life taking a dramatic, unexpected turn off "course", beyond my control and against all my wishes. That changed my life forever. But perhaps it was a lesson I needed to learn. To accept the limitations of our feeble attempts to create a master plan, to chart a known course, to impose our will upon Life. And not only accept it, but learn to embrace it. Perhaps to be free is not to be omniscient and omnipotent, for they instead burden us with the desire and responsibility to forever design, calculate, and execute our futures. Then there's really no "freedom" left, since everything is known, and everything can be done. Perhaps true freedom only comes from embracing the unknown, liberating myself from the anxiety and neurosis of deciphering and planning the future, since despite my best efforts, Life never ceases to surprise me.

I think I am already quite different than I was six months ago; the transformation began then, but it was largely inward. And now it's about to manifest itself outwardly. Let's do it baby. You only live once right?