Musings: Mixed feelings

Being in SE Asia evokes mixed feelings in me, and Cambodia only reinforces and intensifies them ever more so. To co-opt Dicken's words, "it is the best of places, and it was the worst of places". There are things I love about this place, like the amazing food, beaches and jungles, simple country people (when one can find them), and the rich history and cultural heritage. On the other hand, there are also things that just make me angry or sad: the blatant commericialism and consequent exploitation and callousness, the income disparity and utter depravity, and the sheer corruption and apathy at times. I now understand how HC feels about India; our love-hate feelings must be pretty similar in this regard.

Somehow I always seem to have transportation issues when travelling. I managed to score a super cheap flight from BKK to Phnom Penh (PP) for $50 total, including taxes. Before I could congratulate myself however, I didn't realize that Thai immigration takes forever to process, with multiple stages before and after security screening. As such, I went through the first stage thinking I had plenty of time, so I did what I naturally do when I have time - eat. After a leisurely breakfast at KFC, I went in again, then realized I needed to go through immigration again, then two security checkpoints, and take a bus out to the plane! Needless to say, I missed my flight and was kicking myself all morning. Then I had to go buy another flight out, which fortunately did not cost an arm and a leg, but did make me wait for almost 6hrs at the airport. Lesson - no more KFC at the airport from now on.

After that fiasco, I finally landed in PP and I felt like I was transported to another world. Despite my "acclimatization" period in Thailand, I was still not fully prepared for Cambodia. While perhaps not as bad as parts of Africa where there're no running water or electricity, this is definitely a 3rd world country. The abject poverty in parts of Phnom Penh asserts itself in your face, and it's difficult to ignore. Coming into town on the back of a moto, the road is equally shared by motos, bikers, cows, naked kids, hand carts, and a million other moving things. Backpackers inevitably stick out like a sore thumb with our signature tevas/flip flops and backpacks, and so as soon we step out onto the road we are mobbed by drivers throwing themselves at us yelling, "taxi/tuk-tuk/moto, sir?" or "hey you, where you go?" (the singularly most annoying expression in all of SE asia). And we'd be assaulted by beggars and street children, some of whom make your heart ache, but others who just blatantly guilt you into giving them money. And though I know they're guilt-tripping me, I still can't help feeling guilty, and I hate that. Things are old, broken, dirty everywhere, and the streets are littered with trash. When you turn the corner beyond the tourist areas, I feel like I'm walking into the slums that I've only seen on TV; children running naked without clothes, rolling and playing in the dirt. Shacks assembled from driftwood and metal pieces, burning trash in the streets, animal feces splattered on the ground It's certainly an unglamorous side of travelling, but I'm very glad I get to see this side of SE asia. Without this I would simply be another naive tourist who roll in for the sun and beaches, and head out without a look behind the scenes.

If I had to describe PP in one word, I'd say "hard". I feel like PP is a hard city; its people are hard, its environment is hard, and its fortune is hard. I don't think I mind the poverty so much as how it's changed people. For example, my tuk-tuk driver kept pushing me to go to a shooting range, which is a popular tourist stop, after I came out of the Tuol Sleng museum, where Pol Pot interrogated and tortured his prisoners before sending them off to the Killing Fields. After the museum, the last thing I wanted to do was touch a gun, and here was this guy getting in my face, pestering me non-stop to go to the range, so he can earn his commission! I wanted to yell at him so badly for his insensitivity, then restrained myself, since I figured he's just trying to survive and make money however he can. It's also sad to see how the street urchins have honed their craft so well, they know exactly who to target (female Westerners in pairs or groups), how to close ("you not give me, you make me sad") and what to ask for ("food for my brother/sister/mother/family"). I really can't blame them, but at the same time, it's disheartening. I'm pretty sure if I was in their place, I would probably be doing the same thing. Civility is often a luxury only practiced by those who can afford it. Yet I wonder, and this applies to all nations striving to catch the great capitalism train, like China, if a little something is not lost during this mad rush to modernize and capitalize?

Well, on a lighter note, I think the market is a wonderful place for photography. The vibrant mix of colors and lighting just creates all sorts of opportunities that can make even an amateur photographer like me look good :)

Mmmm...breakfast

Shopping heaven for ladies

A simple, wonderful woman who sold me some scallion pancakes. I bought one from her for breakfast, and after making an entire round at the market, I decided it was so good I just had to go back and get another one. When I went back, she recognized me immediately, and her face just totally lit up. Despite us not being able understand a word from each other, I feel like she was one of the few locals with whom I really connected. She was genuinely delighted to see me because I liked her food, not because she saw flashing dollar signs screaming "easy tourist money". These are the little moments that keep me from becoming totally jaded while on the road.